The importance of being an executor

My generous frugal parents My mother passed away and the POA which had been granted to another became invalid. Then my power as an executor kicked in but I did not know what that meant. So I was advised to approach a lawyer and work only along with his advice, especially since I have nasty, warring siblings and spouses. This is what the lawyer said and should help anyone in my position. An Executor is the person who disposes of or oversees the settlement of the assets of the deceased person in accordance with the wishes of the deceased testator, as enumerated in the Will. The executor derives the powers to dispose of the estate of the deceased testator in terms of the Will. The executor's main duty is to carry out the instructions to manage the affairs and wishes of the deceased person's estate. The executor is appointed either by the testator of the will (the individual who makes the will like in this case my parents) or by a court, in cases wherein there was no prior appointment.The executor gets legal authority to carry out the instructions in the Will. At last I was in control of handling my parents property, after being forced to watch from afar for over a decade, with a mother who had no cognizable faculties for several years.

The Last Supper Dad was so proud of graces a buyers home now. A friend in the US said -- remember your parents made YOU an executor of their will. They expect you to lead and execute their will. This is your home, shame on anyone who can’t respect that and you can legally get them to step back. Life takes many turns and one learns as one goes along. In my will I have added that if any beneficiary contests my will they automatically lose their inheritance. Plus viewing my mother’s horrific situation of being kept alive, I have made a Living will where ONLY my son who is a doctor, will make the decision on how I am to be treated, no one else. He is a cardiologist in the US whose patients' lives are in his hands. That is all I need. Please ask any of my siblings if they would have liked to live like Mum and they say oh no! But it was fine to do it to Mum? Medicate her, nebulise her, exercise her till she lingered in dreadful pain? By having your executors either jointly or singly handing your assets, it gives them the freedom to see clearly and with power. Keeps the greedy troublesome ones out. Always go to a lawyer if you are an executor, so there are no loopholes you might not be aware of. Keep all emails which can be used as evidence because when it comes to money, greed is the overpowering factor. Tread the safe path,and keep everything transparent. Keep your own council and your own dignity.

Dads desk plus chair bought by another who will value it. When I was giving up and told the lawyer I did not want to handle this clearance of my parents movable goods, the lawyer who has known the family since childhood said,” Your parents chose you! Not them! Your parents knew they could depend on you. Your parents knew you were capable, don’t let them down. Ignore the jealous ones, every family has greedy black sheep.” And so I shoulder on, everyday clearing and cleaning and looking at my parents picture’s in the flat for strength. People have come into my life and just helped buy all the furniture which belonged to the family since my grandparents time. A young priest - Fr Adrian, my sons school mate, has been a wonderful support as well. He has taken things like a huge carpet, crockery, books and lots of other things for his poor school to help me clear. I think it’s Mum and Dad helping from above. “Once it’s done just cut yourself off from the siblings if they are toxic,” advises a friend and that’s exactly my plan. Work with a lawyer to strengthen your hand. And very important that one works with an unbiased lawyer. Life brings one new experiences, take them head on, says the advocate-- this is YOUR inheritance and do not tolerate interference. OR get a restraining order because some people don’t learn any other way.