As we age do we turn into our parents?

Mum taught me Geography in my school -- Convent of Jesus and Mary, New Delhi As much as we see ourselves as unique individuals, it's inevitable that many of us turn into our parents at some point, given that they raised us and continue to be a part of our lives as we mature.However, the morph seems to happen suddenly, such as one day noticing you've adopted Mum’s habit, as I have, of making pickles and jams every week, or scratching my upper lip with my lower teeth, or adopting all things green in the garden like Dad did ---a new study suggests the timing isn't so random at all. According to research from U.K. surgeon Julian De Silva, M.D., women are more likely to start their transforming into Mom or Dad at age 33. In the survey of 2,000 men and women, over half of women said that in their early thirties, they stopped rebelling against their parents and started acting more like them.

The engagement photo which the photo shop turned into a poster to woo new customers The process, he suggests, coincides with women becoming moms, themselves. In other words, in the early years of motherhood, women turn into a combination of their moms and dads. "We all turn into our parents at some point in our lives—and that is something to be celebrated," says Dr. De Silva. "Becoming parents is the main trigger and lifestyle factors are also important."

Wanted this in my latest book which they could not oblige In case you're wondering if the process of turning into your parents has already begun for you, the study suggests a few signs, such as having the same pastimes-- like I enjoyed studying further like my Mum did and age was not a number. Mum did her masters at age 50 and then I was offered a fellowship to do my PhD which was done when I was 50 too! But it did not stop with my generation-- my eldest son decided to go back to studying, but in the UK having seen me study. His cheeky remark -- “ if my old lady can, so can I.” and he came out with a distinction! Using the same adages when speaking or lecturing, making the same foods and particularly for me making the identical breakfast like she fed us are other commonalities between my Mum and me. I get up and make chappaties every single day, no matter how busy I am, ( except on a Sunday) like my mother did. I even cook north Indian style as most of our life we lived in Delhi and Mum had a north Indian menu in the home.

Aeronautical engineer Dad! But as I ruminate, the biggest similarity is an obsessive love for books and reading. My parents inherited and added to a massive library from my paternal grand-parents. We would lie for hours reading in both grandparents homes during the holidays and weekends. Weekends also meant spending long hours in the garden. Repotting, weeding and generally sprucing up the garden. There was a lot I learned from my Dad which I enjoy doing today. It’s second nature to me now. And happily I find many of these positive traits in my sons today.

My older boy and his baby girl in Malta My sons have imitated my mothers and now my implicit love for only good quality furniture. I populated our home with only superior antique furniture bought from an auction house where a Mr Pacheco held an auction every Sunday and I picked up beautiful furniture at a reasonable price. Today the boys have homes with beautiful furniture in the countries they live in. Like me they wait for estate sales to pick up only top quality furniture. The US home has the most gorgeous carved furniture and paintings from an old Doctor’s estate. And he has a collection of clocks all ticking and chiming like mine! The UK guy is so house proud he probably heard me nagging his Dad! His house is absolutely beautiful, especially now that he has had his garden landscaped and is spectacular. Easily able to win in a garden competition, it’s that fabulous. I can spend the whole day working in it, we all do when we visit.

Grandmother and first grand daughter. Over six months ago we sold a pair of apartments that I owned as the renters were too dirty for my tolerance. Instead we bought a flat closer to us. The garden was an old dirty, dry strip which we revamped in six months into an absolutely gorgeous space. Infact we got a better rent because of the garden! Whether we find ourselves echoing our parent’s opinions, or recognising yourself saying something you’d normally hear them say, it’s a safe bet that it’ll happen to all of us at some point. But apparently, an actual age has been specified by researchers at Harley Street, as the one we can officially expect to turn into our parents.

A picture book garden in London The study makes for wonderful reading -- 52% of the study’s women participants said they reckoned they’d ‘turned into’ their mothers between the ages of 30 and 35. Of the 2000 people asked, 26% said they didn’t notice the change until their late 30s, while a much smaller 7% said it wasn’t until they were over the age of 50.And a further 5% said they noticed the transformation happening much earlier, in their 20s.

Oriental lillies in Tennessee For men, it is a bit later, at 34, that they found themselves turning into their fathers, with many confessing that they felt it most when they became fathers themselves. I like to think that they picked up a lot from me and my parents too. It’s not that women turn only into their mothers and men into their Dads. It could be a mix according to what their brains absorbed and they automatically use now, as they mature and age.