A lot that one learns from experience

The barely used fridge which took forever to sell After gaining an all round experience of being executor of my parents' wills, I can surely become a consultant for others faced with the same burden. Take it on, head on, as after all it is YOUR inheritance. And don't let any bullies get the better of you. If there are no ethics, take recourse to law.Sadly that is the ONLY way forward if there is no respect. So, the first thing is -- keep notarised copies of your parents wills. We are so busy living our lives and our parents are still hale and hearty when their wills are being made. Then there is the question of embarrassment -- we look away, we say, oh! Don't talk about dying. And it’s the clever and smarter ones who get hold of POA’s. Check the POA and caution the parent of being too generous. THAT was my first mistake.

Taken by the scrap dealer finally as nothing was working Remember the nominee is the one who has to release the funds once the parent dies. Careful there, be sure your nominee is someone who considers their siblings and not just themselves. But that's not a worry really because in a court of law the nominee has to hand over the funds to the family. Clearing the family home is a massive task. There is furniture which could have come down generations. In my case massive furniture which had come down from my grandparents time. All made of rosewood. But, because it is authentic, the pieces will sell if you are not greedy with the prices and are looking at just a good home for the pieces. In Spite of that I am quite sure my parents would have been pleased that I got a decent price for everything.Advertise on FB so you don't spend on advertising which is expensive.

Mums machine table on which her prized Bernina stood When it comes to personal effects, that is the most painful. I could not get myself to go into the toilet cause I could smell Mum’s Pear soap which was her most favourite and see her false teeth still in a bowl. Took me a month or more to finally gather up courage and make three large bundles of all her clothes and linen and give it all away to the servants. My friend and banker advised me how to do it and I am so glad I listened to her. Make three bundles of everything and number the bundles. Let them choose a number and give them five minutes to put it all in a bedsheet and leave. No choosing, no pulling from others bundles, no discussion. Take the bundle with the number you chose and leave. Ofcourse you will get a bossy one who tries to tell you what to do. Stand your ground and ask them to leave. Exchange elsewhere, do as you please once you leave, but no choosing and no leaving anything behind. By the time my mother died her beautiful crockery was reduced to single pieces. There was a set of broken cups from a set I adored as a child. A teapot without a lit and a chafing dish lidless too. Give away your good things before you are taken over by the servants. I cried to see the worthless bits and pieces left. I remember packing them individually in newspaper as a child and putting them into trunks when we got posted from one place to another. All of them arrived perfectly fine and Dad washed them and put them away. Finally I could not bear it any more, we brought in a scrap man to take most of the odd pieces and cleared out the rest to an orphanage through a priest.

Teak beds which took ages to sell as well. I am glad we never allowed my remaining parent to own property, as I know what the outcome would have been. That is one headache which we saved ourselves. A headache I have seen families despair over. I knew where the single flat would have gone and dug my heels in from the word go. Think logically and save yourself a lot of extra headache later. There are greedy ones in every family. If there is jewelry then value the damn thing. I still have to go through the torture of valuing all of it, but I will. Once it’s done then the pieces will be given away as per Mums directives.There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth but believe you me, that's the least of your problems. Mum told me what she wanted to do and it will be done.

The trolley on which there were always tablemats and coasters to set the table with White goods, no matter how old or how new, always get sold for little or nothing. It's difficult to sell, and we know as we bought my sister's tenants washing machine - an LG with all the bobs and whistles for half the price. Our old washing machine was sold for FOUR thousand. It's shocking, but that's the way white goods are valued. Everything is gone at last. The house is clear and clean. I can sit back and relax and have the time now to check on the finances handled by my other siblings. Ask for details, you have a right. It’s not their money, it was your parents and they are expected to render good stewardship. Go to professional auditors, in our case we have an inhouse one, who has an eye of an eagle. I can't wait to see the fireworks, after years of high handedness with money which was not theirs to waste. If they don’t come clean, there are always the courts where the judges will demand what they refuse to give you. In a court of law, the most twisted come straight and clean. Put through the cleansing fire of truth, and I have no qualms any more of wringing a couple of necks in the bargain. Have waited patiently for it.